Monday, January 14, 2008

Infidelity in Marriage

One of the most painful experiences we go through in our marriage and perhaps in LIFE is finding out your better half is cheating on you. Worst is when he or she admits to the mistake.

I am not talking about my own marriage here. Knock on wood…God forbids!

I am talking about a friend whose marriage is about to fall because of her husband’s infidelity. Last Saturday, I received a message from her asking me if I have any knowledge whatsoever about her husband having an affair with another woman. She said she’s been hearing rumors from other people about the affair but she wanted to investigate further. She also told me that they suddenly drifted apart and they’re not in good speaking terms the past six months.

The following day, she sent me another message informing that her husband admitted to the crime so to speak and that even my husband knows about the affair. What a shame! But my husband told me that he doesn’t want to complicate things and stick his nose in their situation -- the reason for his silence.

I really don’t know the reasons behind the problems in their marriage but cheating on your spouse is totally taboo. If I were in her shoes, I would definitely feel devastated and I would fight hell for my right as a wife to the extent of killing b**ches who gets in the way. And these cheating husbands should also be taught some lessons. I used to think that her husband is the sanest among their barkada but I guess men will always be men. They easily succumb to temptations especially when it comes to women. I’ve personally talked to my friend yesterday and she admitted that perhaps she is to be blamed as well. The culprit has been they fail to find TIME for each other. She was focused on her career trying to support her family’s needs while her husband is passionately managing a resto-bar and a mistress. She said she doesn’t deserve all these crap and even thinks of ending the marriage. I told her to hang on if she thinks it is still worth it. As the song goes, “Don’t give in without a fight”.

At some point in our marriage, I had doubts about my husband having an affair. My self-esteem was quite low at that time and I had this insane suspicion that he’s replacing me for some hot chick in his friendster network. I even tried some crazy stuff just to gather some proof but they weren’t strong enough to support my allegation. So, I just allowed the issue to die. And here we are still holding on. Circumstances like these make me hang on to our marriage and love my husband even more. I do have doubts sometimes considering his profession but more than that I trust him to be faithful all the time. It’s the trust that’s really important. He may look at other girls in a lustful way but at the end of the day, he will always come home to me.

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