Wednesday, June 28, 2006


"How do you hurt someone you love? Easy. All it takes is one unguarded moment...a word, a tone of voice, one cocky, unconsiously careless moment.

How do you forgive someone you love? Easy. You remind yourself of all the reasons why you love him, of all the reasons why he's in your life. You tell yourself that once in this lifetime, he too has been hurt. He too has cried." (Jet David)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Philosophy + Photography

The Human Philosophy:“Why do we always reject those who love us, and love those who doesn’t love us in the first place?”
Answer:“Unconsciously, we enjoy being hurt.”

It’s a sad fact but true. In my past relationships (I only had 2 – an ex and my husband), I have always been the “willing victim” allowing myself to cuddle pain and be the stupid girlfriend. It’s funny but looking back, I think I have always enjoyed crying in my sleep or I loved being scolded by friends about my stupidity. I loved listening to sappy tunes when I’m brokenhearted. Makes me depressed all the more and the irony of it is that I think I liked it a lot. I couldn’t count the times when my friends hated me for all my decisions but there was nothing they could do about it. After all, this isn’t about them…it’s about me. And so, I go on from one relationship to another (with a 5-month interval) and it was like a vicious cycle. I committed the same mistakes and I continue to succumb to pain. But don’t get me wrong, I never allowed myself to be abused physically. It was more of a self-inflicting emotional distress. But I have no regrets. In the end, it benefited me a lot. As the song goes “you made me stronger by breaking my heart”. ***corny***

On to a brighter side of life…

Photography in the eyes of a three-year old

My husband and I are both nocturnal creatures. We worked till the wee hours at night and often past midnight. With that, we don't usually wake up early in the morning. Our daughter sometimes messes up with our mornings and let us get up to play with her. I know, it sounds really cruel to shoo her away but we really need to catch up some sleep to make it through the day. So what I usually do to keep her busy and not bug us on waking up early is to give her my cellphone and let her take pictures of just about anything in the house. She enjoys it a lot. Again, it amazes me to see her attempts in digital photography...she has a sense of composition and angle. Here are some of her masterpieces...

This is a portrait of her favorite teddy

A portrait of her yaya

the knob

the key on the floor

the water dispenser

A light from the electric fan

The sleepy mom

A reflection of the fotog on our dirty mirror

She still has a lot of pics but I have yet to upload them. I guess it's time to prepare for a career in photography. It has always been one of my greatest frustrations. I took photojournalism class in college and got a flat 1 grade. I even became the vice-president of a photography club in our campus but I never got the chance to really pursue a career in photography. I have worked with some of Cebu's top photographers and models for a project but it was only once. I always wanted to capture life's drama behind the lens but it's an expensive career. So right now, my daughter and I will just make do with our camera phone to capture precious moments.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

first day

Today marks another milestone in my daughter’s life – she’s starting school today! As a mother, I’m the one who is excited and at the same time edgy about it. I have been greatly caught up in the preparation of this milestone physically, emotionally and financially. Of course, my husband though always at the background has been very supportive with this endeavor. The weekend has been very tough for me because I went out shopping for her stuff. It was very stressful and exhausting maybe because I wasn’t spending money for myself. I was on the verge of buying a nice pair of shoes but I just brushed it off because my priority right now is my daughter.

Today she’s gone out of her comfort zone for the first time and embrace whatever learning is in store for her in that school. Deep inside I was hesitant to pass her on to her “second mother”- her teachers but I know I have to coz there are things that are better taught and learned from others. A part of me is scared to send her off to the outside world for the fear that she might get hurt or abused by her peers but then I have to coz these peers could become her friends who will shield her from harm.

Today she’s geared up and fervent to learn I can see it in her eyes and smiles. I know she has been waiting for this moment like I do. She has been asking me several questions about her school and her enthusiasm is infectious. And I want to keep it that way. I want her to be always excited and passionate about school. I just hope that Kid’s Daycare & After-school Center could provide her the necessary skills and knowledge I am unable to provide and share her with. I am leaving it all up to them to develop my kid in the right manner and path. I will always be on the support side and to continuously fuel my daughter’s passion for learning and to embrace her with so much love.

Today I witnessed her confidence and I realized that she has grown so much. Unlike the rest of the kids her age, she didn't have any separation anxiety. She willingly detached herself from me and I'm so proud of her.

ready to rule the world

first day punk

Monday, June 12, 2006


Pardon my delayed post but not until today was I able to tap these keyboards. But I guess, the girls night out we had last Saturday is worth the post and besides it’s been a while since I last posted some wisdom into this blog though this material isn’t really that sensible. My office girls (Sylvette, Nice, Herbelle and Chat) went out for our usual rendezvous - videoke session at Gimik Bar. It’s something we commonly share --- our passion for singing. I myself love to sing but more often I get offended by those videoke scores telling me that I need more practice. Huh?!?!

So we hang out in this new videoke bar at Mango Square (where else?). I had second thoughts of going as I was too worn-out from shopping for Alex earlier that afternoon but then it’s been ages since I last went out with them (especially with Chat) and there might never come a time to hang out with them again.. It has always been fun and crazy going out with these girls.

Here are some pics taken using my ever dependable Nokia 6600… (apologies for the blurry as Sylvette forgot to bring her digital cam).

pretty moms

tina paner, manilyn reynes, shery cruz and kim chui (on shades)

banat gyud chatty