Salute to the Fathers in my Life

Here's to all the fathers in this world and to the awesome daddies in my life.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

Dad
Beyond being a husband, you’ve played a great role in being a good dad to Alex. In between being a rock star and being a drug pusher medical representative, you always find ways and time in perfecting that daddy role. I thank you for embracing our little girl with so much love and care. I’m sure that you will always be her idol, her bestfriend (next to me) and the coolest dad in the whole world.

Papsi
I will always be proud of you whether you’re a well-respected human resource manager or the sari-sari store manager. My childhood may not be that perfect but it has been a happy one despite the occasional spanking and scolding from you. Albeit stern in your manner of discipline with your girls (including myself), I think your message has been delivered and accepted pretty well. We are what we are because of you…God-fearing, well-mannered and smart offspring.

Daddy
Thank you for welcoming me into your wonderful and unique family. From the very start, I always feel accepted and at home. Though we don’t talk that much, I will always be grateful for all the support and kind gestures you have afforded our little family. You will always be that “wonderwall” we could always rely on.

Because I Care

I grew up in a culture where repaying your elders for all their sacrifices is such a big deal. There’s no written agreement but it has been observed from generation to generation in my family. The tradition has been, my parents send me off to school and pay for everything then when I finish school and find a job, it’s payback time. A portion of my salary goes to them or to my siblings. I can’t complain but sometimes I waddle from self-pity to resentment especially when there are things I wanted to buy for myself or my immediate family yet cannot because the college tuition fees of my two sisters are already due.

Hubby’s parents are different. During the first few years of my marriage, I got into some disagreement with him over this so-called financial support given to my parents. He cannot understand the fact that I just can’t turn my back from my parents. However, later on, we’ve come to terms about how to deal with the issue.

Then I stumble upon this blog through Sassylawyer.

Your parents are responsible for raising you. You are not responsible for them. Although it’s honorable to make sure your parents have a good life, don’t do it out of guilt.

It sure hit me smack right within. While it’s true that parents are supposed to take care of their children and not the other way around, I still go on a guilt trip every time my parents would tell me the hardships they’ve been through. Papa has retired when I entered college and Mama’s meager income as hospital employee cannot cope with their daily needs. The modest revenue we get from my father’s piece of copra land and rice field is also not enough to send 2 college and 1 high school siblings to school so my parents would turn to me and my sister for a little support. I also can’t see myself living my life in luxury while my parents live in misery with nary a food on the table. No matter what happens, they are my parents, blood of my blood and nothing could ever change that. Maybe it’s not the tradition that compels us to support our parents when they age. It’s the circumstances that our parents are into. Had it been that they have silver platter on the table or a fat bank account, I’m sure they would never seek our help. I guess the best way is to snap out of that guilty feeling as what Small Potato suggests and think of it as a noble act.

I know these bits and pieces about my family are too personal to be roving in this blogosphere but I felt relieved. Earlier today, I said some mean things to my parents through text telling them how bitter I was for having to take on the responsibility of sending my siblings to school. It was awful I know but I said sorry. From now on, I will not be bitter anymore and whatever help I will have to extend will be done because I care.

Sisters

(Quadro Marias -- Matet, Magee, Moi & Maryann)

"Sisterhood is many things. It's warm smile on a cold rainy day, a friendly hug, a cheerful hello...It's all that a good and lasting friendship is, only better. It's treasured. It's sacred. It's knowing that there will always be someone there for you. It's dreams shared and goals achieved. It's counting on others and being counted on. It is real."

Last night, I had one of those moments when I felt that having a sister is a blessing rather than a curse. I had the best talk ever with my sister Magee. No bickering this time. Just talking and laughing about the silly things we did when we were still kids. Yeah, nostalgic indeed. We also talked about serious stuff too like sharing our frustrations about our other sisters who live with us. Being the eldest (me) and the second (Magee) in the brood of five and already working, we were responsible for our other siblings who are still studying. Two of them are still college students at USC. Maryann (3rd sib) is staying with me while Matet (4th sib) is staying with Magee. Both have different personalities and sometimes the pain in our asses. Sometimes we just wished that our parents are here in Cebu coz it's not easy raising grown-ups. But we are designated by our parents to be our sister's keepers so we have to live up to their expectations and that includes being uncool and killjoy sometimes.

Our talk moved into more deeper topics like careers and jobs and goals and plans in the future and her recent goiter operation. It was a heartwarming talk indeed. At 3am, we called it a night (or rather dawn). I hope we have more of these little talks coz sometimes we always find ourselves arguing and bickering like we used to be when we're still kids.

Papa and Me

I’ve always considered myself a papa’s girl. When I was younger, I lived behind the shadows of my father – literally. Wherever my papa goes, I go too. In elementary, I would often drop by his office after school. I love it a lot when he would bring me to their canteen where they served the best ensaimada in town. I would also tag along during his basketball practices and games. My papa is a basketball star in their company back then I am his number one fan.

Saturday and Sunday are the best days especially when my papa works over the weekend. I would always look forward to an afternoon with him inside his office playing with his typewriter (no computer during that time yet) or sketching using his endless supply of bondpapers and card board. My papa works as Human Resource Manager in one of the biggest paper industry in the country. He is a strong figure in the company and people would look up to him with utmost respect. He was also active in the church being one of the lay ministers and I admire him for that. I always feel proud having him around during our school’s family day, open house and other events. That time, I always say to myself that I would marry someone like him.

However growing up with papa isn’t at all an exciting experience. My father brought his being superior at work to our home. He is the quintessential figure depicted in a patriarchal society. Though the silent type, he is quite a fierce disciplinarian. When he’s quiet, I know I’m in big trouble. I’ve had my share of beating as a kid and teenager not that I’m rebellious but my father could be bad-tempered sometimes. One thing I hated about him is when he raises his voice at me in front of other people. I hated it so much. I also remember one incident when he threw a mono-block chair towards me because of a very petty thing. The pain in my heart is more than the physical pain I’ve felt. I asked myself, how somebody I idolize and love could hurt me. That was when our gap started.

When I became a teenager, guys my age would have difficulty approaching me because of papa. They are afraid of him. With just a single glare from him would bring shivers down their spine (I guess). Nobody messes up with me and my sisters even the notorious teenager lurking in our neighborhood. It was a blessing though.

When I went to college, our bonding and bickering became less to never. I was studying in the city and I get to go home only during sem-breaks, summer and Christmas. I admit, I miss his presence from time to time. Now that I’m married, I miss him even more. I get to talk to him only on the phone and not for long. Looking back, I realized that my father never really taught us anything. He just lives his life and shows us a rightful path. He doesn’t really show his love for us openly but I know deep in my heart that he loves us so much.

To Papa, I know I have been a bit of a frustration to you having married early and not becoming the journalist-lawyer you want me to be. I take every responsibility for all the decisions I’ve made in my life. I’m sorry but you know I tried to really live up to your expectations and make you feel proud of me in some other ways. I just want to say “thank you” for being my father, for being my hero and for just being YOU.

HAPPY FATHER's DAY!!!

with papa and mama on life's important moments...dont' wanna miss a thing!!!

Ma, You're The Best!

Ma, I appreciate all the things you have done for all of us your 5 children. For all the sacrifices, for putting up with our diverse personalities, for being patient, for being understanding, for being the hands-on mother that you are, for being a good cook, for the prayers and above anything else, FOR THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I am thankful that you have helped me become the person that I am today. Being a mom myself ain't easy but you help me realize how fulfilling it is to be one.

All the love on Mother's Day!


Mhalou, Earl and Baby Alex
Magee, Mary Ann, Matet and Christian Dean

Laag-laag with Mama and Sissies

It has always been a blessing every time my mama pays us a visit every summer. She would usually visit us during this time of the year to check how life is for her girls in this big city. Our youngest sister is about to go to college this June and mama makes it a point that she’s all right and her needs are well taken cared of. She did the same for the 3 older girls most especially with me being the eldest. And I’m grateful because I’ve survived college partly because of mama. She makes it a point that we have everything we need from school supplies, grocery and allowance. She would bring fruits and baked goodies to my tita’s house (where I stayed) from our town in Bislig. She did that and is still doing it without any qualms or complaints and with so much love.

She’s been in Cebu for almost one week now and she’s staying with me. Life’s really different whenever she’s around. We always have good food in the table – she loves to cook you know. Our hamper has been emptied since she arrived. She also had some bonding sessions with my daughter Alex.

Last Saturday, we brought her to the mall to do some shopping for my papa and little brother who were left back home. I kept asking her if she was tired or what. She’s already 58 years old and has been complaining about body aches and all. But whenever I ask her if she’s tired, she would say “wala man”. I guess she’s in high spirits having all of us 4 girls and 1 little girl (my daughter) hanging around with her. We had lunch at Jollibee – her favorite fastfood in the world. Then, my sister Magee (2nd sib) treated us for dinner and videoke. We had a blast despite our not-so-good singing talent. Mama had difficulty catching up on the words in the video and just leaves us to do the singing. My daughter also had her share of repertoire staring off with Little Mermaid’s “Part of that World”.



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