Because I Care

I grew up in a culture where repaying your elders for all their sacrifices is such a big deal. There’s no written agreement but it has been observed from generation to generation in my family. The tradition has been, my parents send me off to school and pay for everything then when I finish school and find a job, it’s payback time. A portion of my salary goes to them or to my siblings. I can’t complain but sometimes I waddle from self-pity to resentment especially when there are things I wanted to buy for myself or my immediate family yet cannot because the college tuition fees of my two sisters are already due.

Hubby’s parents are different. During the first few years of my marriage, I got into some disagreement with him over this so-called financial support given to my parents. He cannot understand the fact that I just can’t turn my back from my parents. However, later on, we’ve come to terms about how to deal with the issue.

Then I stumble upon this blog through Sassylawyer.

Your parents are responsible for raising you. You are not responsible for them. Although it’s honorable to make sure your parents have a good life, don’t do it out of guilt.

It sure hit me smack right within. While it’s true that parents are supposed to take care of their children and not the other way around, I still go on a guilt trip every time my parents would tell me the hardships they’ve been through. Papa has retired when I entered college and Mama’s meager income as hospital employee cannot cope with their daily needs. The modest revenue we get from my father’s piece of copra land and rice field is also not enough to send 2 college and 1 high school siblings to school so my parents would turn to me and my sister for a little support. I also can’t see myself living my life in luxury while my parents live in misery with nary a food on the table. No matter what happens, they are my parents, blood of my blood and nothing could ever change that. Maybe it’s not the tradition that compels us to support our parents when they age. It’s the circumstances that our parents are into. Had it been that they have silver platter on the table or a fat bank account, I’m sure they would never seek our help. I guess the best way is to snap out of that guilty feeling as what Small Potato suggests and think of it as a noble act.

I know these bits and pieces about my family are too personal to be roving in this blogosphere but I felt relieved. Earlier today, I said some mean things to my parents through text telling them how bitter I was for having to take on the responsibility of sending my siblings to school. It was awful I know but I said sorry. From now on, I will not be bitter anymore and whatever help I will have to extend will be done because I care.

Tough Times

Thank God it's finally Friday. The week has been a total fiasco both at work and at home.

In the office, we have quite a number of screw ups left and right. I always find myself staring blankly into space and suddenly felt my heartbeat racing madly. I still can't get over the fact that I have hugely marred my performance with that oversight. But if there's one person who makes things a lot easier for us that would be our boss. She's been really nice and considerate despite our inequities. In the corporate world, she really gave meaning to what command responsibility is. She is our shield from whatever negative force that's sucking this company. Kung kinahanglan duphan, duphan gyud niya. And with that I thank her.

Home has been a struggle too. Well, not really my home but my other home. My first home. But I've handled it after some harsh words sent to heaven knows and I'm terribly sorry. I know nobody's to be blame and that if life throws you stone, you just have to embrace it. Who knows one of these stones might be a gem.

I digress.

Now, I'm looking forward to what the weekend has to offer. I hope it's all good. And of course, the family's much awaited vacation in CDO next week is a well-deserved break.

(Posted via mobile phone and Globe GPRS)

My Little Indian Girl

Call me a stage mum but what the heck...I'm sure most mothers would agree with me that we can't help being one. Allow me to brag a little about my daughter's performance during their school's annual play last Saturday at STC auditorium. It was one of those short plays cooked up by their school entitled "The Sad King". She played one of the girls from India who performed a dance number to make the king happy. As the story goes, they failed to delight the king but the audience was surely wowed by their performance especially that of my daughter who danced with gusto to the beat of the Indian dance. She also looked pretty in her Indian costume...ahhemm, kudos to me for the hair and makeup. Despite the stir I encountered that afternoon which really scared the hell out of me, I have no choice but to be up and about for my daughter's sake. Hubby also had some other plans that afternoon but I'm glad he was able to make it just in time for our daughter's performance. Our little girl was truly amazing and boy did she received quite an attention or should I say "fans" especially from parents who wanted to take a picture of her with their sons. Oh no!

Below are some photos taken during the play...

Hera seems to have forgotten the steps...looking at Alex for cue

now that's better...together this time

Namaste! (from Hera, Alex and Jazz)

with the stage mum
with the dad who is equally proud

This House

Been eyeing this new subdivision in Consolacion, Cebu. I hope this time, if the budget permits and with a little help from hubby’s dad, we’ll be able to have what we call “our home”. We’ve been renting the last 5 years since we got married and it’s pretty exhausting moving from one house to another. Two years back, we started paying this house in Mactan but decided not to pursue for proximity and financial reasons. It was a hard decision especially that we’re almost halfway in completing the equity dues and the developer just refunded us almost half of what we initially paid for. Earlier today, hubby and I visited the site in Consolacion Valley. The houses look like candy bars from the top view of the valley with different colors and motif each house. The units are ready for occupancy but we just have to pay 30% of the total amount for us to move in. The first time I saw the house in the net, I fell in love with the design and the colors. Seeing and stepping inside the house/s feels like home.

I hope and pray this house is meant for us and that Consolacion Valley will be our little community where my children will grow and build friendships and run around the garden chasing our dog or cats. No more turning back. I mean, I’m ready to give up my whims just for this house. I am willing to eat nothing in the next five years or so just for this house...So help us God.

Our future home and neighborhood... (fingers crossed!)

PMN FamPics: LEARNING

This month's theme for PMN FamPICS is LEARNING.

Learning doesn't only begin and end in school. As they say, life is a continuous learning experience. Everyday, we learn something new may it be something we read in the paper or a new book perhaps. We also learn from stories and experiences of our friends and even our own. We learn out of our daily journey whether it's a journey to a nearby island or far away land. And in our quest for learning, what really matters is the lessons we gain in the process.

Learning through books

(pose with the books)Learning through friends

(Alex at the center)

Learning through experience

(nature tour bus)

You can view the rest of the LEARNING pics here.